saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
