Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
