His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
