Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
