He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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