someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I deserve to be covered in dicks
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
