found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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