he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
