i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
