dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
