Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
is that a dick in a sweater?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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