we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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