I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I believe in your delicious
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
