I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
