im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
