I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I think I sprained my soul last night
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
