i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
