I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
