This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
That's when you crack a 10am beer
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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