Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Ketchup is God's man juice
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
