i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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