i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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