i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
