holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
