Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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