I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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