Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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