walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
