p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
What a dumb baby whore.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
