Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
