Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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