the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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