I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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