Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
