OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
