There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
