I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I can't put those talents on a resume
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
