Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
