Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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