i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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