I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Need sex. Gaining weight.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
