you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
