i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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