you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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