So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
