I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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