I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Never underestimate the power of titties
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
