Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
