There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize