I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
